some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
