I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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