my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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