it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
