so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
