Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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