I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
