Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize