I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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