You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
