no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
