What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
