i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
