All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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