I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
