Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
