I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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