After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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