Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
