oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
