you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
