How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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