how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize