i just made my gag reflex go away.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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