I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
