You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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