don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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