I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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