I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
