Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
