I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
