is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
