I'm jealous of your bromance
from now on my penis is your penis
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
