used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize