During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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