Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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