No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think people are normalizing furries
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
