you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
