I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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