The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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