That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
