I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
