saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
