Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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