In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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