billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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