tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
