But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
