My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
