It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize