she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
