I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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