are you still at the devil's house?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
