The maid of honor just puked.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
