that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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