1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
