So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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