used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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