We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm really into asian looking animals
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
