I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize