Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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