we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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