The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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