I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
