Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Be still, my beating vagina.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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